Love in a Quarter
Love is a thunderous phenomenon.
It is the driving force behind some of the most painful and gleeful decisions we will ever make. Simply put, love is the most powerful emotion in our entire biological vocabulary. Seven years and two days ago, I was falling in love for the third time, with the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.
May 20th 2012. A lifetime ago. 25% of my lifetime ago, to be precise.
Since then, love has left me bruised, scarred, cautious, romantic, grateful, hurt and endlessly fascinated. I have since experienced two very intense and passionate relationships with people I will forever hold in my heart simply because the place they carved out in it fits only them. By virtue of who they were, what we did together and the way we shaped each other, they remain within me like the most bittersweet of memories.
Not a day goes by when I don’t consider love, or think about those that have escaped my reach, but I think it boils down to the same old reason. I’m a storyteller, and love is inherently a story waiting to be told. The ending isn’t always happy, but for better or worse it’s often necessary.
People see the end of relationships as a failure. I, myself, did for a very long time. I’ve changed my stance though. As much as I still miss the parts of Lucy, Charlotte and Hannah that live within me, the simple fact is that those people don’t exist anymore. We expect the people we fall in love with to remain those people, whilst also changing to suit our emotional needs. It’s a two-way contradiction that only the very few get right long-term.
Music has always been heavily linked with my experiences falling and being in love. Charlie Simpson, Ed Sheeran, Busted, Lewis Capaldi and many more obscure artists take me to places I’ve not seen in years with the collection of a succession of different notes. For example, I was sat in a car one month ago and “Kiss Me” by Ed Sheeran came on. I was in a pretty rough place that weekend anyway, but this had me yearning for the Summer of 2012; the happiest time in my life. I thought back to nights spent sitting atop the mountain behind my house, with a beautiful blonde girl in my arms as we lay quietly and overlooked the city lights. Those moments are the scenes and chapters we learn to treasure as we age.
Love is the most important and powerful thing in the world to me. Not just romantic love, but platonic love, familial love, and love for people in general. It will forever mold the way stories write themselves in the pages of my life, and I can’t wait to read the last page with a smile as I drift off to see whatever form love takes after life itself.