La Douleur Exquise - The Exquisite Pain
Originally published 21.10.2014.
Love is a funny old emotion.
People kill for it, and people die for it. People will quite literally hurt themselves and others just for a taste of the rapturous intoxication that's embodied by that little four-letter word.
So why do we do it? Because it's not as if it's easy. It takes time, and hard work. Simply put, love's a bitch.
Thing is; we don't enter into these things thinking about the end result and the pain it might bring. Love's an addiction; it's the same as any drug. You're drawn to it because of how it makes you feel initially. That crazy high. Then you spend the rest of your life chasing the dragon.
I recently stumbled upon a French term I found quite elegant - "La Douleur Exquise". I'm told that it refers to the deep pain of loving somebody that you cannot have. Knowing that, and longing for them anyway. Emotional "cold turkey". This is something we have all experienced at least once in our lives; myself included.
I once thought that my first love would be the grandest of my life. I then thought exactly the same about my second love, and my third. I'm certain I will feel this way about every girl I ever fall in love with.
Maybe that's the nature of love. The pursuit of happiness, contentment and companionship. Because is there anything quite as sweet as rolling over in the morning, and feeling that warmth next to you? Holding it in your arms and pulling it closer, and knowing that that's yours. That they have given themselves to you and you to them, wholly.
I think we chase it because there's nothing else on the planet that can make you feel like that. There isn't a single thing in this world that people are so willing to suffer for. That's the beauty of it. Like addiction, it doesn't matter how destructive it is; you will always convince yourself that you are worse off without it.
If you're reading this you may think I sound cynical, but I urge you to look closer. Love is a wonderful thing, and I don't lament the loss of it without a certain perspective. I view life in the same way that I would view a song; change is important. Without change, the song would consist of one note, played over and over again. If you embrace the changes, you free yourself up to ride the crescendos and live in the music. Note for note. Beat for beat.